Ties That Bind
by DFaraday
Summary: 'It’s for you, Aaron.' She whispers to him, her eyes closed as she tries to hold back another sob. 'It’s all for you.' For Sun and Kate, going back means leaving people behind. Oneshot.


"You miss him?"

His voice rises at the end, but they both know that it isn't really a question. It's more than a statement as well; it's a block between the two of them, alienating them from each other. The reason that the sparkling diamond he gave just months ago lies in the mess of the draw in her nightstand, unlikely to ever be worn again. No words can get out past a strangled sob, and her hand clamps over her mouth, trying to hold the desperate sound back. Jack smirks sadly, letting out a quiet sigh as he digs his hands into his pockets. His eye line drops to the floor for a fraction of a section before rising again to meet hers, and she sees the spectrum of emotions behind the brown of his eyes: the pain, desperation and fear all making her feel even worse; she wonders how much of what he feels is because of her.

"Then why don't you want to go back? Do you want him to die?" He steps forward, his eyes boring into hers with such intensity that it scares her a little. He puts his hands on her shoulders, his fingers digging into her skin sharply and she can feel the slight shake of his hands. He speaks again, his face up so close to hers that she can feel his breath, hot and ragged against her face. "'Cause he _will_ die, Kate. They all will, we both know that. _He _told us—"

"You never believed him before, why—" He shakes her shoulders fiercely, obviously frustrated.

"And that's why all of this happened! We have to go back, Kate!_ We have to go back!_ What's stopping you?" She turns her gaze to the door on her left and gasps, pulling herself firmly from Jack's grip, wiping her damp eyes with the back of her hand as she tries to plaster a smile onto her face.

"What are you doing up, Baby?" Aaron's face creases in childish confusion, alternating his gaze between the two adults.

"I couldn't sleep, Mommy. Why were you shouting?" She gives a little laugh that's too high and too shaky.

"We weren't shouting, Sweetie, everything's fine. Uncle Jack's just leaving, that's all." She glares at Jack meaningfully, and he snorts before leaving, shouting back at her as he goes out of the door:

"It'll be your fault, Kate, the guilt will _never_ go away! We have to go back!"

Kate winces as the door closes, (and she wonders how much Jack had to drink before he came over) before she bends down and picks Aaron up. He rests his sleepy head on her shoulder, his words only coming out as tired mumbles.

"Where are you going, Mommy?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Baby. I promise, I'm staying right here."

"Okay. I don't want you to go away." She tries to keep her voice light,

"Well, that's good 'cause I'm not going anywhere, 'kay?" He nods, yawning.

By the time Kate sets him down on his bed, Aaron is fast asleep. She pulls the covers over him, sitting on the edge of his small bed. She strokes his fair hair, not even bothering to try and control the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"It's for you, Aaron." She whispers to him, her eyes closed as she tries to hold back another sob. "It's all for you."

The night before she's meant to leave for London, Sun's mother confronts her.

"You can't keep leaving like this! Ji Yeon barely knows her own Mother – that's no way to raise a child. Can't you stay here, or at least postpone your trip for a little while? What can possibly be more important than seeing your own daughter grow up?" Sun barely takes in her words, and simply carries on folding clothes into her suitcase.

"Me missing a week of her life won't do her any harm." She replies firmly, not looking at her mother. "It's not like she'll remember it when she's older."

_(But she will remember the absence of her father.)_

"A week? Last time, you said that you'd been gone for two days, and we didn't see you for nearly a month! How long will you really be _this_ time?" Sun laughs serenly.

"I'll be however long it takes." She replies vaguely, "I just need to go and see someone in London – it shouldn't take too long."

Sun gasps slightly as her mother grabs her elbow sharply, whipping her around to face her, and as she looks into her mother's now fierce eyes she feels once again like a four year old, caught making too much noise outside her father's study.

"Sun-Hwa!" She hisses angrily, "Why are you doing this? I don't understand – don't you _want_ to spend time with you daughter?" Her eyes softened. "I know that you miss him, and I know that you're angry. I understand, Sun. But don't take it out on Ji Yeon."

"Grandma?" Sun's mother quickly releases her arm as the two women turn to face the toddler in the doorway.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Sun asks her daughter. Ji Yeon looks at her for a brief moment, before turning back to her grandmother.

"Grandma!" She whines, holding her small arms out towards her. Sun's breath hitches in her throat and tears prick behind her eyes, as her mother gives her a sad look and picks Ji Yeon up, carrying her out of the room.

Sun sinks down onto the bed behind her, her head in hands as the realization of her mistakes with her daughter hit her like a slap in the face.

A few hours later, she creeps into Ji Yeon's room, kneeling by her sleeping daughter's head.

"It's all for you, sweetheart." She whispers, her thumb on Ji Yeon's soft cheek. "It's all for you."

As Kate sits down in her seat, she leans her head back against the headrest, her broken promise to Aaron running through her brain on loop. She looks around the plane, and she looks eyes with Sun, whose eyes have the same glassy expression that Kate assumes her own have taken on now. The exchange small, sad smiles and an unsaid comment passes between them.

_I understand._


End file.
